Alone, early dawn morning, sun’s not even hinted at rising. Just laying there, trapped. There was no escape, no matter how hard one could try to escape. It couldn’t and wouldn’t be done. The physical body was trapped by the spiritual one. At the mercy of its whim, its plan. More frightening yet, being trapped and getting to see the one thing denied, but yearned for. That precious dream being seen, not able to be a reality.
Eight years old, and the love of her life, is little more than a bi-weekly miracle. Always uncertain of if, not when he will show. She knows theres no way of controlling this, its been the same way all her life. Every other weekend is a gamble of Russian Roulette standards, one thats been rigged and changes with the slightest breath of the one who controls it all. Shes come to accept the way things are, knowing that they won’t change, at least not any time soon.
The games are all understood, they’ve been witnessed too many times now. And if there be any doubt, a helpful reminder awaits just a week away, another chance to spin that wheel and hope it lands on that happiness thats been an eluding chase.
Theres no second guessing this life, its been laid out and repeated before. With each generation before her as a helpful reminder of what has been, but with that burning hope of what could be. They keep that portion alive in her, for they know what it is she yearns for, and know it exists and is there for her always. The constant reminders help keep her going, help her past the disappointment of that roulette wheel.
She treats those weekends as precious memories and dreams to be kept like fine sand in the hourglass she stares at. Each time she feels her arms around his neck she knows she is safe, loved and has the ability to conquer the world. She knows no harm will come to her, for she has her great defender, her beloved hero ready and willing to step in and save her.
Each night, like clockwork, these visions taunt me, a constant reminder of the endlessly possible future. One in which though unknown, is still full of endless hope for her happiness…