Daddy, No Cry

Solid as a rock she sees him to be, always going strong. He won’t stumble, keeping his footing when the world shakes. Carrying the massive weight on his back, he is still flexible, dodging the punches. No tears seen by the little girl when he picks her up. Just a softer voice when he drops her off. He’s her solid rock, the only side she’s known.

His little girl sees him as a giant of a man. The one left standing after it all will be him, nothing can bring him down. Little girl, you have much to learn about this man of stone. Look closely my dear and notice all these cracks running about. Made not by man, but from the tears that fall at the many thoughts of you. Days with you my dear, bring a smile to my broken heart.

Choking back the tears each night as I sit by this lonely light, the page beneath my pen is hard to see. Harder to see than the taillights I follow from your home. Should I loose control then, least the airbag will catch me as I fall. By this light it hits me, no one to catch me as I fall further down. After all these years of fears, I’ve not seen the bottom, forever drifting. Left with the memories illuminated by a lonely light.

Arms wrapped ’round my neck, feels like I’m choking. Not from you dear, but on the fear and tears. Whisper, “I love you” without bursting. Pull myself together, wonder if you see through it all. Hide the tears not to strip emotions from myself, but to keep you from worry. A smile is all I want to see from you. Our time is short together, spend it carefree, enjoying everything around yourself.

One day my dear, you will read all I have written. These writings you will read come from a place that no one else has dared to venture. It is my hope that you learn of the man your dad really is and was. Maybe then all those questions and all your wondering will be put to rest. The world will tell you hundreds of stories about me, but many will be lies. No matter where life takes us, you will forever be my girl.

My little two year-old, who looked upon the stone, hugged him and said, “No cry daddy, no cry”.

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